Letting The Blues Take Me

I'm feeling the blues. It comes and goes as it pleases, unannounced and unwelcome. Unfortunately, I'm not a productive depressive. If anything, my melancholy keeps me numb when it decides it's time for a visit. The most I can get away with is writing down my thoughts--which I do a lot of, as it seems to be the only motor that keeps on running when the tank's half empty. The rest of my creative muscles are completely paralyzed; but I am also willing to accept wholeheartedly that this could be a simple case of extreme laziness. But the other night, I was able to churn out some drawings in this state of numbness. Maybe I can, after all, get something done in this awkward place of limbo/laziness.

I noticed how cathartic it was to color in with the pen, and I didn't care how long it was going to take--I was willing to sit there all night scratching its fine tip up and down on the scrap of paper. "Wax on, wax off", was the mantra that kept repeating itself in my mind. Up and down, side to side, front and back, and all around--over and over again. Is this what meditation is like? I was able to empty my brain of discord and idle thoughts, if only for the time it took to complete a picture. Short-term meditation, maybe? Whatever it was, it knocked some peace and stillness into my dysfunctional thought process. I was no longer wallowing in despair, which is just such a useless state of mind.